Tuesday, September 7, 2004

Dot Freaking Dot

Tuesday, September 7, 2004

Well, I never thought I’d have to write a lame ass “dot dot dot” column but too much has happened in the month or so since computer went down for me to cover it all. Some things are long past resolved, others I just don’t care enough about to go back and really hash them out. Anyway, here goes, in no particular order.

The NCAA vs. money-grubbing kids:

Yeah, I’m old enough now that I call people who are still in college “kids.” Here’s the deal, mike Williams declared for the draft and took money from an agent even though the NCAA and the NFL told him that if they won their appeal he would not regain his eligibility. Now everyone seems shocked that he’s not being allowed to play. Yes, he paid back the money. Yes, he disassociated himself from the agent. Yes, he went summer school so he could be academically eligible. It doesn’t matter. Now talk show hosts and columnists are bitching about how the NCAA is abusing this kid and ruining his life. Bullshit. Mike Williams still has more opportunity in his life right now than most people in the world. Boohoo, he can’t play for USC, so let’s look at what he can do…he can play in the CFL…he can play in the AL or A2…he can play for a JC…he can get a job as an analyst or sideline reporter…he can go to school and work towards his degree…he can get an agent to give him a loan, buy an Escalade and do cameos in Snoop Dogg videos…(“My name is Willie, Willie Beeeaman”). Don’t cry for Mike Williams, he’ll be fine, and next April he’ll make more money than all of us combined.

Which brings us to Jeremy Bloom. Bloom is…was…a WR for the University of Colorado. He’s also an Olympic skier. He wanted to take endorsement money to pay for his ski training, which is against NCAA rules. NCAA rules state that you can take a salary in another sport and still play football, but you cannot take endorsement money. That’s why guys like Ricky Williams and Chris Wienke could play in the minors and then come back and play football. Bloom took the money, then lost his appeal for reinstatement for football. Again, the anti-NCAA media has been crowing about how unfair that is. Again, they’re wrong. Bloom made a choice, the options were: be an Olympic skier, or be a college football player. He wanted both, he got skiing. He chose to take the money. Fuck him. Again, there is no law or amendment, commandment that says you get to have everything you want just because you’re good at stuff.

The 49ers will not be the worst team in football this year; no matter what ESPN says…TO will rip Philly up, can they even make the playoffs?…Dorsey Levens again benefits from another guy’s injury…As much as I hate to say it, Barry’s the MVP…Didn’t The Governator learn from the last time he used the “girly man” line?…How bad were the Bush twins at the RNC? The blonde one’s cute though right? Like a poor man’s Kirsten Dunst…I don’t know if he did it or not, my guess is the truth lies somewhere in between, still Kobe’s case does bring up issues about the rights of the accused…just for fun, Misty May, Amanda Bush, Kerry Walsh, and Jenny Finch…Why is it always us and South Korea having controversy in the Olympics?…I am not a rube. I have heard the church bells at Notre Dame. I have climbed the towers of the Sagrada Familia. I believe that Fenway Park is the most beautiful building I have ever seen….Fenway also has the best hot dogs, perhaps the best food, in all of baseball. My friends were shocked when I threw down three Fenway Franks in four innings…The last four sentences include the word “Fenway”…

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