My mind has been dulled by prime time. I sat down, I tried to write, I had a beautiful and terrible story to share. Then it happened, Eric and Donna were having problems again, with hilarious consequences. A lot of things have been getting in the way of writing recently.
I thought the end of school would bring on more time to write. It is only now that I see that my initial claim, that I only started writing for fun in order to put off the things I was supposed to write for others, was true. I was trapped. No friends close at hand, no place to go, no money, no car. Now, all that’s changed. For one, nothing gets in the way of writing like reading, which I’ve been doing a lot of. Reading for fun is wild. I have a job that keeps me busy. It also provides money with which to go out and do things. Which brings up another distraction, I now have people to go out and do things with.
The people I’ve met over the past six months have become actual friends. The kind you see outside of the context in which you originally met. This belies my previous theory that it’s impossible to make friends as an adult. Of course at that point I thought I was going to be married, with kids, and a job and a life other than the one I have now. The theory went something like this:
“Once you become an adult you simply don’t have the time to make new friends. You have school, you have work, you have your significant other. Then, later, you have kids. Next thing you know your friends are the parents of your kid’s friends. It seemed to me that you don’t have the same opportunities to make friends as an adult that you have as a kid.”
Until recently, I had made exactly one truly close friend after the age of twenty. Almost everyone else had been a friend since high school or before. The rest, even the people I have been close to, and keep in touch with, people I cherish, even those relationships a accompanied by a tinge of transience.
Now my perspective has changed. I feel like I’ve made friends. Friends I’ll have for a while. People I can open up to. Friends. Which got me thinking, what is it that creates friendship? The old theory was based on the idea that after high school you simply don’t have the time required to establish a friendship. Think of all the time that goes into becoming friends, you have to hang out a lot, especially at first, in order to become more than mere acquaintances. But it can’t be just time. So it must be something else.
I think it’s adversity. Adversity, real or imagined, is the mulch from which friendships poke their little shoots. As teenagers we have plenty of adversity. It’s us against the world, against our parents, against school, and often, against each other. But we do it together, we go through it together, we make it out together, even if we don’t all make it out alive. In the years between high school and grad school I didn’t face a lot of polarizing adversity. The closest I came to similar experience was with the woman who would become my wife, which helped bring us together, and then my ex-wife, and lo, another bout of adversity.
On the first day school one of my classmates mentioned that there had been a catastrophic event that had brought the previous year’s classes together first the Gallaudet murders, then 9/11. She urged us not to give up if we didn’t gel right away, it sometimes took a tragedy to bring people together. That first year we had The Sniper, but we didn’t need it. Well, they didn’t anyway, they became fast friends, I was wrapped up in my impending marriage. We went through the hell of the dreaded “third semester” together, but it wasn’t until my divorce that I really found friendship with my classmates. All of a sudden they were there for me. I didn’t know they cared that much, maybe they didn’t, but when I needed friends, when I needed support, they were there. If not for them I wouldn’t have made it through the semester or school. I know how it reads. I’m a terrible user. I didn’t appreciate these people until I needed something from them. That’s partly true, but on top of my personal adversity we all went on through school, and, despite what some of us feared at various points, we all graduated, together. We pulled each other through, just like we did when we were kids. At the time I attributed the strengthening bond to having more time. After all, the time I had been devoting to my ex was now being dispersed among my friends.
Perceived adversity can also foster friendship. I always liked my teammates, but we weren’t friends. I saw them at practice and games. I saw them for beers, after practice, and games. Then we went to London. It is here that time and perceived adversity took hold. Us against the world. Us drunk in a hotel room talking shit, philosophy, and nicknames. Coming back, I had friends. People I see outside of team functions.
Finally, I recently found that shared adversity doesn’t have to be experienced together. This may not seem like a revelation to some of you. I guess it’s not really one for me either except in the context of approaching the enigma of friendship from this angle. I have a friend with whom I have only recently crossed the event horizon moving from people who hang out to real friendship. The point where you talk about more than the mundane and superficial. She’s also been through an extremely difficult break up. Sharing our tales of woe, examining the differences and similarities, produced the same effect as shared adversity. I don’t know a lot of people who can relate to what I’ve been going through the past six months. Of course people understand, and sympathize, but few actually know the feeling as intimately. That feeling, being able to provide comfort born of experience brought us closer together in two days than we had been in six months. Our friendship, which had been based going out drinking, reached a new level when we were able to finally convert our common experience into shared adversity. What really lent power to the situation is that the conversation was brought about by trust rather than alcohol.
So I was wrong. It’s not time that forges friendships, though it’s still needed. It seems you need something else that binds. You need to face something, overcome something together in order to forge a friendship. I don’t mean to devalue the other friends I’ve made. The people in my life are important to me, and of course I got through the last six months with the help of people other than classmates. Maybe it’s just me, but I’ll bet that if you examine your close friendships, your long-term friendships, you’ll find some truth in what I’ve written here.
Family, Sports, Politics, Random Rants: @bertoinpublic, facebook.com/interdisciplinarylife/
Tuesday, July 6, 2004
Friday, June 25, 2004
Freeform on a Friday By AH.
The man himself Sir Rantalot asked me to post something for his website. Lately I haven‚t had a strong focus to act like a microscope/telescope/magnifying glass bringing verbal order to the more or less random events of our lives. Mostly been just been kicking stuff around.
Enjoying being a parent. It helps having, objectively speaking, the cutest kid in the Milky Way. It's hard to imagine how much you will enjoy your kids until you have some of your own; and damn near impossible to convey in a meaningful way the beauty and delight of their Tabula Rasa perception of the world, their ever shifting behavior patterns, the satisfaction of comforting them when they are sad and joy in watching them take hours of delight in playing with something as simple as a cardboard box. So I won‚t try.
Note to Broadway: "The Princess Bride" is dying for a musical makeover. Just a little FYI. Oh, quick rave: „Avenue Q‰ is awesome. Log off, go run to your local music store and buy it, log back on, and continue reading.
Is it just me, or is our generation (I'm 29 FYI) the biggest bunch of flakes ever? Tossing it out there. I‚m sure are some standards to apply to quantify this relative lack of consideration/inability to make plans/lack of calling to cancel/etc. to other generations. Just answer me this: have you tried throwing together 8 20-something people for a dinner/movie/whatever? Wow.
At the risk of making myself sound pretentious, has anyone checked out "My Dinner with Andre?" There is a part in there where Andre is talking about why everyone talks about leaving New York, but no one ever does (which isn't true. I left NY. But then I didn't grow up there). He says it is because New York is the model for the new prison, where everyone is both a prisoner and a guard, and this schizophrenia has people walking around in a confused haze.
This may sound abstract, but let's put it in another context. Say you are an employee and shareholder of a company. The company wants to freeze wages and cut staff, leaving those left over double the workload. This will make the share price rise. Are you for it or against? Is it a moral judgment, or are your leanings in proportion to how much share you have and if you are the one getting the ax? (Quick note to job seekers: get a job with a private company if at all possible).
Someone once asked me what I think the biggest problem our country faces right now. I think it is the continued stratification of our society and the growing disparity between the rich and the poor. It’s already epidemic and has already created an informal class system, which runs against the grain of what this country is about.
Not saying we can do anything about it. It just kinda sucks, that’s all.
I think the attitude of the ruling class was best summed up in the Mel Brooks movie "A History of the World Part One" when one Senator begs: "But what about the poor?" and the entire assembly in unison yells back "Fuck the poor!" Truth is beauty and beauty truth.
Living in the bay area and not remotely being in the neighborhood of even imagining I could buy a house kinda brings this divide into focus for me. The divide between homeowners and renters is another focal point of this class thing. The fact that I won‚t own till I move or win the lottery is just another concrete reminder that our generation will be the first American one to be materially poorer than the one that preceded it.
My friend once said that he wasn't rich like my parents. I was aghast because my parents aren't rich. My dad teaches at a community college and, without disclosing too much, is definitely within the five-figure range. I worked at restaurants until I graduated college to augment the bare minimum I was given to live. I guess my friend thought my folks had dough because of where they lived.
My parents were lucky enough to buy a 4 bedroom/2 bath house in North Berkeley a few blocks from campus for around $25,000. Now it's true that this investment has returned probably 50-fold (damn Bay Area real estate is a good investment). But it means nothing until they actually sell it. In the 6th grade I had three pairs of identical blue jeans, of which one I duct taped together because the button came off. People at Longfellow elementary thought I was the poorest kid in the class.
My point is this: my definition of wealth is not numerically oriented but is held up to this standard: are you working for your money or is your money working for you? To this my parents and myself definitely fall into the former.
Quick aside: what is with this week of mourning‚ for Reagan? Perhaps the public has a shorter-term memory than even Reagan had himself. I guess growing up in the Bay Area gave me a somewhat skewed and not so mainstream perception. Let me put it this way: I was SHOCKED that Reagan beat Mondale (I was 9 at the time). I mean, the promise of higher taxes, a choice of a woman as a running mate-what‚s not to like? I’m glad Mondale’s home state of Minnesota and the District of Columbia agreed with me. Every other state was enjoying their “Morning in America.” And now they seem to be enjoying their mourning in America.
Since the only other president to die in my lifetime was Nixon, a disgraced president whose death was more or less swept under the rug, I had no real basis of comparison for this event. I was like “What the hell? An entire week of mourning?”
Am I the only one who recalls a line from Evita "When they are bringing your curtain down-demand to be buried like Eva Peron"?
In fact the whole song is strangely poignant:
O what a circus
O what a show
America has gone to town, over the death of an actor named Ronald Reagan.
We've all gone crazy
Mourning all day and mourning all night
Falling over ourselves to get all of the misery right
Oh what an exit, that's how to go
When they're ringing your curtain down
Demand to be buried like Ronald Reagan
It's quite a sunset
And good for the country in a roundabout way
We've made the front page of all the world's papers today
Oops. I just admitted I could paraphrase portions of Evita by heart. I'll just check my heterosexual credentials at the door. At least I got a small assist by the internet.
Though those who work for the federal government got Friday off to mourn, those of us working in the private sector still had to go to work. I mildly resented that, as I wanted to mourn in my own private way. Does a day at the beach and a movie count as mourning?
Anyways, that‚s what I got right now.
Toodles.
Enjoying being a parent. It helps having, objectively speaking, the cutest kid in the Milky Way. It's hard to imagine how much you will enjoy your kids until you have some of your own; and damn near impossible to convey in a meaningful way the beauty and delight of their Tabula Rasa perception of the world, their ever shifting behavior patterns, the satisfaction of comforting them when they are sad and joy in watching them take hours of delight in playing with something as simple as a cardboard box. So I won‚t try.
Note to Broadway: "The Princess Bride" is dying for a musical makeover. Just a little FYI. Oh, quick rave: „Avenue Q‰ is awesome. Log off, go run to your local music store and buy it, log back on, and continue reading.
Is it just me, or is our generation (I'm 29 FYI) the biggest bunch of flakes ever? Tossing it out there. I‚m sure are some standards to apply to quantify this relative lack of consideration/inability to make plans/lack of calling to cancel/etc. to other generations. Just answer me this: have you tried throwing together 8 20-something people for a dinner/movie/whatever? Wow.
At the risk of making myself sound pretentious, has anyone checked out "My Dinner with Andre?" There is a part in there where Andre is talking about why everyone talks about leaving New York, but no one ever does (which isn't true. I left NY. But then I didn't grow up there). He says it is because New York is the model for the new prison, where everyone is both a prisoner and a guard, and this schizophrenia has people walking around in a confused haze.
This may sound abstract, but let's put it in another context. Say you are an employee and shareholder of a company. The company wants to freeze wages and cut staff, leaving those left over double the workload. This will make the share price rise. Are you for it or against? Is it a moral judgment, or are your leanings in proportion to how much share you have and if you are the one getting the ax? (Quick note to job seekers: get a job with a private company if at all possible).
Someone once asked me what I think the biggest problem our country faces right now. I think it is the continued stratification of our society and the growing disparity between the rich and the poor. It’s already epidemic and has already created an informal class system, which runs against the grain of what this country is about.
Not saying we can do anything about it. It just kinda sucks, that’s all.
I think the attitude of the ruling class was best summed up in the Mel Brooks movie "A History of the World Part One" when one Senator begs: "But what about the poor?" and the entire assembly in unison yells back "Fuck the poor!" Truth is beauty and beauty truth.
Living in the bay area and not remotely being in the neighborhood of even imagining I could buy a house kinda brings this divide into focus for me. The divide between homeowners and renters is another focal point of this class thing. The fact that I won‚t own till I move or win the lottery is just another concrete reminder that our generation will be the first American one to be materially poorer than the one that preceded it.
My friend once said that he wasn't rich like my parents. I was aghast because my parents aren't rich. My dad teaches at a community college and, without disclosing too much, is definitely within the five-figure range. I worked at restaurants until I graduated college to augment the bare minimum I was given to live. I guess my friend thought my folks had dough because of where they lived.
My parents were lucky enough to buy a 4 bedroom/2 bath house in North Berkeley a few blocks from campus for around $25,000. Now it's true that this investment has returned probably 50-fold (damn Bay Area real estate is a good investment). But it means nothing until they actually sell it. In the 6th grade I had three pairs of identical blue jeans, of which one I duct taped together because the button came off. People at Longfellow elementary thought I was the poorest kid in the class.
My point is this: my definition of wealth is not numerically oriented but is held up to this standard: are you working for your money or is your money working for you? To this my parents and myself definitely fall into the former.
Quick aside: what is with this week of mourning‚ for Reagan? Perhaps the public has a shorter-term memory than even Reagan had himself. I guess growing up in the Bay Area gave me a somewhat skewed and not so mainstream perception. Let me put it this way: I was SHOCKED that Reagan beat Mondale (I was 9 at the time). I mean, the promise of higher taxes, a choice of a woman as a running mate-what‚s not to like? I’m glad Mondale’s home state of Minnesota and the District of Columbia agreed with me. Every other state was enjoying their “Morning in America.” And now they seem to be enjoying their mourning in America.
Since the only other president to die in my lifetime was Nixon, a disgraced president whose death was more or less swept under the rug, I had no real basis of comparison for this event. I was like “What the hell? An entire week of mourning?”
Am I the only one who recalls a line from Evita "When they are bringing your curtain down-demand to be buried like Eva Peron"?
In fact the whole song is strangely poignant:
O what a circus
O what a show
America has gone to town, over the death of an actor named Ronald Reagan.
We've all gone crazy
Mourning all day and mourning all night
Falling over ourselves to get all of the misery right
Oh what an exit, that's how to go
When they're ringing your curtain down
Demand to be buried like Ronald Reagan
It's quite a sunset
And good for the country in a roundabout way
We've made the front page of all the world's papers today
Oops. I just admitted I could paraphrase portions of Evita by heart. I'll just check my heterosexual credentials at the door. At least I got a small assist by the internet.
Though those who work for the federal government got Friday off to mourn, those of us working in the private sector still had to go to work. I mildly resented that, as I wanted to mourn in my own private way. Does a day at the beach and a movie count as mourning?
Anyways, that‚s what I got right now.
Toodles.
Thursday, June 3, 2004
Let's Catch Up
Greetings Rant fans. I am writing this from high over Iceland on my way to London for the Mark Bingham Cup. It's been a while since my last post, the rigors of commencement, obligations to family, and transition to a new job and a new home have kept me from the keyboard. Today I'd like to hit on a few things that have been floating around my newly shorn dome since my last dispatch. This won't be posted for another week after it's written but I'll be back in form after things calm down a bit.
Same Sex Marriage:
I know this has been done to death over the past few weeks but I am constantly amazed by the comments I hear and read from the far right. I can't fathom how people can feel that extending more rights and freedoms to people takes anything away from themselves. If you are not gay I really don't see how this issue effects you at all.
I know, I know, "the sanctity of marriage, " "Adam and eve, not Adam and Steve," etc. Lets look at some of these arguments. First, the "sanctity of marriage" thing. Guess what? It doesn't exist, ask my wife's boyfriend. There is no sanctity of marriage in the US. Nearly everyone in my family is now, or has been divorced. Why not give marriage to same sex couples? Maybe they can teach the rest us something we can't seem to figure out.
I can't believe a letter I read in the DC Express recently. They actually printed a letter pushing the "Adam and Steve" platform. Basically the letter suggests that if we allow same sex marriage the human race will die off because people will stop procreating. The idiocy of this argument astounds me. Hello! The people getting same sex unions (with acknowledgement to the Melissa Ethridges of the world) were never likely not going to procreate anyway. Also, no one has been waiting for same sex marriage so that they could finally indulge their homosexual desires. Just like hanging out with gay people or having gay parents will not "turn you gay" sanctioned ay marriage will not put and end to us breeders. Besides, same sex couples often give good, loving homes to the children discarded by irresponsible straight folks. We have no shortage of children, or people for that matter.
Finally, another letter I read recently suggests that the definition of marriage is a huge issue. The author suggests that same sex marriage is not comparable to the civil rights movement because opening lunch counters and integrating schools did not "require us to re write Webster's." According to the author the dictionary defines marriage as the union between a man and a woman. Here's what my dictionary says:
"mar.riage (n) 1. a legally recognized relationship established by a civil or religious ceremony between two people who intend to live together as sexual and domestic partners. 2. a married relationship between two particular people, or an individual's relationship with an individual spouse"
No mention of "man" or "woman," strangely prophetic? Or is it in fact the case that "man' and "woman" are not actually in the definition? And so what if they were? Webster's like all other dictionaries publishes new editions every so often. The dictionary changes because language is not static. Language is a reflection of culture and culture is fluid. Proof? "Party " is now listed as both a noun and a verb. No one got up in arms about that change.
Good job Mailman!
Good job by Karl Malone giving a hard elbow to that guy in game two of the Western Finals. The fact that Derek Fischer got smacked by The Gangsta Choka and then got called for a foul that sent Tha Choka to the line was ridiculous. In fact, all of game two was a farce. Also, what's up with not having all the conference finals games on regular TV? Was "Extreme Bloopers" so great a program that ABC couldn't have carried a playoff game instead? Fer fucks sake!
Baseball Notes
Sexson Done
The Richie Sexson deal is looking better and better for the Brewers (see Sir Rantalot's archive for 12/5/03) now that Sexson is out for the year with a bad shoulder. Meanwhile Lyle Overbay is mashing (.335/6/40), and the other players Milwaukee acquired in the deal have contributed. Right now the Brew Crew is above .500 and just 4 games out of a tough NL Central.
Chavez Out 6 Weeks
At first glance this sucks for the A's, but if take a second look you find that it really does suck for the A's. Once again Sir Rantalot the GM looks prescient in his insistence that the A's sign Mark McLemore (see Sir Rantalot's archive for 12/16/04). Losing an all-star gold glove 3B is never good, but at least the A's have a guy who can step in and at least hold down the fort until Chavey gets back.
The injury also opens up more playing time for my man Marco Scutaro to get more playing time. As you may remember (if not just scroll down and read "2B 2B do?") Scoot was my pick to replace Mark Ellis, but he was unfairly bumped by the versatile switch-hitting McLemore. Now Scoot and his .288/1/11/.321/.701 and good glove get back in the line up.
The other domino is that my original choice for 2B, Esteban German has been recalled from AAA Sacramento. German got the call after the A's quietly dealt Frank Menechino to Toronto.
Finally, it's nice to see Eric Byrnes making a place for himself again. I predict that the A's will let Jermaine Dye walk at the end of the year and install an outfield of Byrnes, Kotsay and Kielty from left to right for 2005.
What's Up With Dem Guys
I recently came across an article that showed the Royce Clayton was hitting 58 points above his career average. With McLemore starting at 3B for Oakland I decided to look and see how the other guys who I said the A's should sign are doing this year. Players are listed by salary in order to show who the A's may have actually been able to bring in, in lieu of say, Eric Karros (550K .137/2/8) or McLemore (.231/0/1).
-Jay Bell (Minor Leagues)
-Fernando Tatis (Minor Leagues)
-Tony Womack [Unkown, but not much]: .287/3/12/.330/.727 (Shoulda had him)
-Royce Clayton [550K]: .304/5/18/.363/.844 (Coulda had him)
-Eric Young [1M] : .310/0/6/.354/.754 (No HR but still more production than EK)
-Pokey Reese [1M] : .253/2/21/.346/.636 (Better than McLemore but more expensive)
-Rich Aurilia [3.15M] : .241/2/19/.305/.640 (Not worth the money)
So there it is. Go back and check it. The guys I really wanted are performing with Reese the disappointment. OK, Rant fans, I promise to take shorter breaks for the foreseeable future, check back soon, and remember you can rant back by signing the guestbook.
Same Sex Marriage:
I know this has been done to death over the past few weeks but I am constantly amazed by the comments I hear and read from the far right. I can't fathom how people can feel that extending more rights and freedoms to people takes anything away from themselves. If you are not gay I really don't see how this issue effects you at all.
I know, I know, "the sanctity of marriage, " "Adam and eve, not Adam and Steve," etc. Lets look at some of these arguments. First, the "sanctity of marriage" thing. Guess what? It doesn't exist, ask my wife's boyfriend. There is no sanctity of marriage in the US. Nearly everyone in my family is now, or has been divorced. Why not give marriage to same sex couples? Maybe they can teach the rest us something we can't seem to figure out.
I can't believe a letter I read in the DC Express recently. They actually printed a letter pushing the "Adam and Steve" platform. Basically the letter suggests that if we allow same sex marriage the human race will die off because people will stop procreating. The idiocy of this argument astounds me. Hello! The people getting same sex unions (with acknowledgement to the Melissa Ethridges of the world) were never likely not going to procreate anyway. Also, no one has been waiting for same sex marriage so that they could finally indulge their homosexual desires. Just like hanging out with gay people or having gay parents will not "turn you gay" sanctioned ay marriage will not put and end to us breeders. Besides, same sex couples often give good, loving homes to the children discarded by irresponsible straight folks. We have no shortage of children, or people for that matter.
Finally, another letter I read recently suggests that the definition of marriage is a huge issue. The author suggests that same sex marriage is not comparable to the civil rights movement because opening lunch counters and integrating schools did not "require us to re write Webster's." According to the author the dictionary defines marriage as the union between a man and a woman. Here's what my dictionary says:
"mar.riage (n) 1. a legally recognized relationship established by a civil or religious ceremony between two people who intend to live together as sexual and domestic partners. 2. a married relationship between two particular people, or an individual's relationship with an individual spouse"
No mention of "man" or "woman," strangely prophetic? Or is it in fact the case that "man' and "woman" are not actually in the definition? And so what if they were? Webster's like all other dictionaries publishes new editions every so often. The dictionary changes because language is not static. Language is a reflection of culture and culture is fluid. Proof? "Party " is now listed as both a noun and a verb. No one got up in arms about that change.
Good job Mailman!
Good job by Karl Malone giving a hard elbow to that guy in game two of the Western Finals. The fact that Derek Fischer got smacked by The Gangsta Choka and then got called for a foul that sent Tha Choka to the line was ridiculous. In fact, all of game two was a farce. Also, what's up with not having all the conference finals games on regular TV? Was "Extreme Bloopers" so great a program that ABC couldn't have carried a playoff game instead? Fer fucks sake!
Baseball Notes
Sexson Done
The Richie Sexson deal is looking better and better for the Brewers (see Sir Rantalot's archive for 12/5/03) now that Sexson is out for the year with a bad shoulder. Meanwhile Lyle Overbay is mashing (.335/6/40), and the other players Milwaukee acquired in the deal have contributed. Right now the Brew Crew is above .500 and just 4 games out of a tough NL Central.
Chavez Out 6 Weeks
At first glance this sucks for the A's, but if take a second look you find that it really does suck for the A's. Once again Sir Rantalot the GM looks prescient in his insistence that the A's sign Mark McLemore (see Sir Rantalot's archive for 12/16/04). Losing an all-star gold glove 3B is never good, but at least the A's have a guy who can step in and at least hold down the fort until Chavey gets back.
The injury also opens up more playing time for my man Marco Scutaro to get more playing time. As you may remember (if not just scroll down and read "2B 2B do?") Scoot was my pick to replace Mark Ellis, but he was unfairly bumped by the versatile switch-hitting McLemore. Now Scoot and his .288/1/11/.321/.701 and good glove get back in the line up.
The other domino is that my original choice for 2B, Esteban German has been recalled from AAA Sacramento. German got the call after the A's quietly dealt Frank Menechino to Toronto.
Finally, it's nice to see Eric Byrnes making a place for himself again. I predict that the A's will let Jermaine Dye walk at the end of the year and install an outfield of Byrnes, Kotsay and Kielty from left to right for 2005.
What's Up With Dem Guys
I recently came across an article that showed the Royce Clayton was hitting 58 points above his career average. With McLemore starting at 3B for Oakland I decided to look and see how the other guys who I said the A's should sign are doing this year. Players are listed by salary in order to show who the A's may have actually been able to bring in, in lieu of say, Eric Karros (550K .137/2/8) or McLemore (.231/0/1).
-Jay Bell (Minor Leagues)
-Fernando Tatis (Minor Leagues)
-Tony Womack [Unkown, but not much]: .287/3/12/.330/.727 (Shoulda had him)
-Royce Clayton [550K]: .304/5/18/.363/.844 (Coulda had him)
-Eric Young [1M] : .310/0/6/.354/.754 (No HR but still more production than EK)
-Pokey Reese [1M] : .253/2/21/.346/.636 (Better than McLemore but more expensive)
-Rich Aurilia [3.15M] : .241/2/19/.305/.640 (Not worth the money)
So there it is. Go back and check it. The guys I really wanted are performing with Reese the disappointment. OK, Rant fans, I promise to take shorter breaks for the foreseeable future, check back soon, and remember you can rant back by signing the guestbook.
Thursday, May 6, 2004
I Shall Have No Fear
So here it is, The Moment. It’s a time we all face at some point in our lives, the point where you look ahead of you and wonder what’s next. The Moment comes in between the certainties of our lives. As I sit here, finally, with nothing to do, no deadlines, no homework and no plan I find myself staring squarely into the abyss of The Moment.
Here it is. A time when I finally have a chance to sit down and write something for myself. I recently watched a cheesy “feel good” movie about race and age relations. It was sappy and predictable but I cried at the end even if only because the closing song was the same one we chose to play during our cake cutting. I bring this up because mired in the schlock of the film was one nugget of truth. It went something like this, “The words we write for ourselves are so much better than the words we write for others;” simple, and unfailingly true. Part of The Moment for me is realizing that from now on I only have to write words for myself. Its comforting to know that I will continue to write even though I am no longer compelled to do so by an outside entity for I have found great solace in writing for this site. Still, I am caught by the feeling that the words I write are not for me alone, they are for all of us.
The past five months have been, beyond compare, the most difficult time in my life. There is no way I could have made it through without all of the love and support I have received from my family and friends. My classmates were there to pick me up every time I felt like I wouldn’t be able to go on. My family and friends across the country were always at the other end of the line when I felt that my world was coming to an end. When I came home for vacation I felt like the world stopped just for me. This site has another way of coping, another way of keeping in touch with all of you and the support your support and encouragement has kept me going.
When I started I hoped that I could write well enough to hold people’s interest. Until recently I wasn’t sure I had done that. It’s funny, I’ve posted some columns that I expected would get more response than they did, and then, I wrote one that I felt I had written before in various ways. I thought of it as a throw away, one that people might read and then forget because it was so much a part of who I was that readers would either take it for granted, or wouldn’t identify with it the way I had. In fact, the “Opening Day” Rant has generated more positive feedback than anything else I’ve posted here so far. I’m blown away by the emails I’ve received and heartened by the idea that something that was so personal to me could touch other people as well, people I’ve hardly met, who hardly know me.
“The words we write for ourselves are so much better than the words we write for others.” The words I write here are an outlet, catharsis. Knowing that every once in a while I might write something that has meaning to someone else lifts my spirits more than I can express. The feedback I’ve gotten from you, the reader has made this endeavor worthwhile.
I know, your sitting there thinking, “Dude, he just wrote an entire column on how pimp he is. What a dick!” Bear with me. The point is that I am where I am, I am who I am because of all of you. I did not arrive at The Moment alone, nor do I face the future that way. Everything I’ve accomplished, every word I write, all of it is in part a credit to the friends and family who have helped and supported me over the years. I’m here, in this place in part because the people in my life put me in a position to succeed. I can face the blinding uncertainty ahead because I know what’s behind me.
Thank you.
Here it is. A time when I finally have a chance to sit down and write something for myself. I recently watched a cheesy “feel good” movie about race and age relations. It was sappy and predictable but I cried at the end even if only because the closing song was the same one we chose to play during our cake cutting. I bring this up because mired in the schlock of the film was one nugget of truth. It went something like this, “The words we write for ourselves are so much better than the words we write for others;” simple, and unfailingly true. Part of The Moment for me is realizing that from now on I only have to write words for myself. Its comforting to know that I will continue to write even though I am no longer compelled to do so by an outside entity for I have found great solace in writing for this site. Still, I am caught by the feeling that the words I write are not for me alone, they are for all of us.
The past five months have been, beyond compare, the most difficult time in my life. There is no way I could have made it through without all of the love and support I have received from my family and friends. My classmates were there to pick me up every time I felt like I wouldn’t be able to go on. My family and friends across the country were always at the other end of the line when I felt that my world was coming to an end. When I came home for vacation I felt like the world stopped just for me. This site has another way of coping, another way of keeping in touch with all of you and the support your support and encouragement has kept me going.
When I started I hoped that I could write well enough to hold people’s interest. Until recently I wasn’t sure I had done that. It’s funny, I’ve posted some columns that I expected would get more response than they did, and then, I wrote one that I felt I had written before in various ways. I thought of it as a throw away, one that people might read and then forget because it was so much a part of who I was that readers would either take it for granted, or wouldn’t identify with it the way I had. In fact, the “Opening Day” Rant has generated more positive feedback than anything else I’ve posted here so far. I’m blown away by the emails I’ve received and heartened by the idea that something that was so personal to me could touch other people as well, people I’ve hardly met, who hardly know me.
“The words we write for ourselves are so much better than the words we write for others.” The words I write here are an outlet, catharsis. Knowing that every once in a while I might write something that has meaning to someone else lifts my spirits more than I can express. The feedback I’ve gotten from you, the reader has made this endeavor worthwhile.
I know, your sitting there thinking, “Dude, he just wrote an entire column on how pimp he is. What a dick!” Bear with me. The point is that I am where I am, I am who I am because of all of you. I did not arrive at The Moment alone, nor do I face the future that way. Everything I’ve accomplished, every word I write, all of it is in part a credit to the friends and family who have helped and supported me over the years. I’m here, in this place in part because the people in my life put me in a position to succeed. I can face the blinding uncertainty ahead because I know what’s behind me.
Thank you.
Thursday, April 15, 2004
Just Plain Ugly By DMJ
Well, it's happened. It was never reasonable to think the TV networks would actually kill anyone (or even complicity allow someone to die during filming) in the course of a reality show, so, until we reach that Running Man/Gattaca/Logan's Run-type distant future, complete with hovercrafts, Soylent Green®, and spooky hologram girlfriends/sex toys, this is the end of the line when it comes to bad taste. It can't get any worse than this.
It's worse than the perversity of watching and laughing at people who seem very clearly to have suffered the very serious effects of long-term drug abuse (Maybe Ozzy and Anna Nicole come to mind?), trivializing the real suffering of the poor around the world but sending fat Americans to "survive" in some "exotic" location, and watching whiny, pampered Generation X/Y/Q/E=mc2 members, plopped into the lap of luxury, acting like spoiled, narcissistic, drunken, horny assholes (with certain exceptions, for at least one pseudocelebrity I know).
It's worse than what I thought would be the worst thing ever--MTV's horrific taste in airing the current, San Diego-based season of "The Real World"©, despite some very convincing evidence that a young woman (not a member of the cast) was raped inside the house. To air this show, to promote it and sell commercial time during its broadcast, especially if there are still legitimate questions about what happened that night, is a profound act of disrespect to the (alleged) victim.
I'm talking about "The Swan."
The premise: A bunch of "average" women are selected for every conceivable plastic surgery, put on a starvation diet, then compete against each other in a beauty pageant. There might be other challenges in there as well, I don't know. I'm sure there's a category for skill at blowing Fox executives or something.
And at this point, I could launch into a long-winded explanation of the concept, blah blah blah. Suffice it to say, you get everything you need to know in the paragraph before this one. That's it, and it's really as debased as it sounds. I watched the first couple of minutes and was nauseated enough to swear never to watch again. Watching these desperately deranged, damaged women, bandages and blood all over their faces and bodies, crying in every other shot, taught to hate themselves, broken down to the level of children psychologically for A GODDAMN TELEVISION SHOW, well, no thank you sir, one spin on that carnival ride was (erp) enough for me.
I'd like to echo a point made by Heather Havrilesky (sp?) over on salon.com the other day: Yeah, most reality television is pretty cheesy and lame, and some of it offensive, but some of it is (mostly) harmless fun and can be entertaining. But when people talk about television warping people's minds and doing real damage to societal attitudes (an argument I'm likely to tune out, but that doesn't mean it never happens), this is what they're talking about. This is as low as it gets, and if you ever wanted proof that the powers that be in some high places in television have no souls, this is it. So don't watch. Don't give them the satisfaction of tuning in because you're curious--these are entertainment industry executives; if you don't believe that controversy is created and manipulated in order to move product, well, I'd like you to meet Mel Gibson and his 350 million friends, who look a lot more like George Washington than they do Jesus. (And if you don't believe that, head over to http://www.thepassionofthechrist.com and look for the $12.99 silver nail necklaces--no joke!)
It's worse than the perversity of watching and laughing at people who seem very clearly to have suffered the very serious effects of long-term drug abuse (Maybe Ozzy and Anna Nicole come to mind?), trivializing the real suffering of the poor around the world but sending fat Americans to "survive" in some "exotic" location, and watching whiny, pampered Generation X/Y/Q/E=mc2 members, plopped into the lap of luxury, acting like spoiled, narcissistic, drunken, horny assholes (with certain exceptions, for at least one pseudocelebrity I know).
It's worse than what I thought would be the worst thing ever--MTV's horrific taste in airing the current, San Diego-based season of "The Real World"©, despite some very convincing evidence that a young woman (not a member of the cast) was raped inside the house. To air this show, to promote it and sell commercial time during its broadcast, especially if there are still legitimate questions about what happened that night, is a profound act of disrespect to the (alleged) victim.
I'm talking about "The Swan."
The premise: A bunch of "average" women are selected for every conceivable plastic surgery, put on a starvation diet, then compete against each other in a beauty pageant. There might be other challenges in there as well, I don't know. I'm sure there's a category for skill at blowing Fox executives or something.
And at this point, I could launch into a long-winded explanation of the concept, blah blah blah. Suffice it to say, you get everything you need to know in the paragraph before this one. That's it, and it's really as debased as it sounds. I watched the first couple of minutes and was nauseated enough to swear never to watch again. Watching these desperately deranged, damaged women, bandages and blood all over their faces and bodies, crying in every other shot, taught to hate themselves, broken down to the level of children psychologically for A GODDAMN TELEVISION SHOW, well, no thank you sir, one spin on that carnival ride was (erp) enough for me.
I'd like to echo a point made by Heather Havrilesky (sp?) over on salon.com the other day: Yeah, most reality television is pretty cheesy and lame, and some of it offensive, but some of it is (mostly) harmless fun and can be entertaining. But when people talk about television warping people's minds and doing real damage to societal attitudes (an argument I'm likely to tune out, but that doesn't mean it never happens), this is what they're talking about. This is as low as it gets, and if you ever wanted proof that the powers that be in some high places in television have no souls, this is it. So don't watch. Don't give them the satisfaction of tuning in because you're curious--these are entertainment industry executives; if you don't believe that controversy is created and manipulated in order to move product, well, I'd like you to meet Mel Gibson and his 350 million friends, who look a lot more like George Washington than they do Jesus. (And if you don't believe that, head over to http://www.thepassionofthechrist.com and look for the $12.99 silver nail necklaces--no joke!)
Sunday, April 11, 2004
2B 2B Do?
Did you really think the first week of baseball would get by without Sir Rantalot chiming in? Of course not, you know better. Now, I’ll admit that a week does not a season make. Hell, half a season does not a season make. Ask Eric Byrnes, almost and all-star, hit for the cycle, became a fan favorite, then went into a major slump after the all star break (9-95) which culminated in his participation in the big, team wide, brain lock game three performance against Boston. Still, with Detroit making noise and A-Fraud batting .154 it’s a great time to look at some early performances.
With the news that Mark Ellis is done for the year we have to look at the now murky situation at second base. Of course I’ve been a supporter of bringing in a vet to help secure the middle infield (see 10 second Rant below), but now there may be a problem developing. First, the guy I’ve supported thus far, Esteban German, failed to win the job in spring training, and will surely head back to AAA as soon as either Frank Menechino or Mark McLemore are ready to come off the DL. Right now, from what I’ve read in various places the powers that be are waiting for these two savvy vets to come back and take over 2B from the guy whose there right now, Marco Scutaro, who has a scant 75 major league games under his belt. But not so fast says Sir Rantalot.
While five games are too few to predict anything the fact is that Scoot has shown something during this first week. Namely, he reminds me a lot of Mark Ellis’ first few games at second in 2002. So, I looked at Ellis’ first five games after he took over the starting job (his first five consecutive games) and compared them to Scoot’s first five games. Here’s what I found:
Ellis 5 games: .400/0/5/.500/.450/..950
Scutaro 5 games: .313/0/3/.353/.500/.853
Ellis’ numbers are better, which we would expect, still Scoot’s numbers are very respectable. Ellis ended the year at .273/6/35/.359/.394/.753, never hit a major slump and never lost the starting job. Ellis also played stellar defense and was in the conversation for rookie of the year. I won’t say Scutaro is going to have the same success but the similarities are there. Scoot has saved a few runs with better than expected play in the field, and has already won a game with a combo of a bat and speed on the bases.
So, what does Oakland do when the vets come back? Well, I would suggest that its Scoot’s job to lose. In 2002 the A’s brought in Randy Velarde to compete with Menechino for the starting job. When Frankie was sent to the minors and Velarde got hurt Ellis took the job and never let go, even pushing trade acquisition Ray Duhram to DH. Now Scutaro has to hold off Menechino and McLemore in order to stay in the line up. Though I’ve endorsed two of the three other guys I’m rooting for Scoot. He’s plucky, he’s clutch, and he’s got a good nick-name.
In other position battle news catcher, 1B, and one outfield spot still seem to be up for grabs. Sure it’s only been a week, but I have thoughts (surprised?). First, News Flash! Damian Miller is not Ramon Hernandez! So far Miller is hitting .077/0/0/.077/.077/.154. What do all those identical .077s mean? It means that aside from hitting .077 Miller has no walks and no extra base hits, a steep price to pay for good defense and intangibles. I’m sure someone knows how many runs Miller has saved behind the plate, but that person aint me, I want some production at the plate.
So far the talk I’ve heard says that Bobby Kielty’s fast start will keep Eric Byrnes from getting much PT. However Macha is trying to find spots for him (Byrnesies only AB so far was his PH double that won the game against Texas on opening day). I see another path for Byrnes. Mark Kotsay has played below expectations and need. So far Kotsay is a decent but very Terrence Long like .250/0/2/.318/.300/.618. A’s brass once thought that Long would be a good lead off hitter too, Long thought he’d be a good five hole guy, the Pads seem to think he’ll be a good pinch hitter. Now Kotsay’s getting a shot at the lead off spot and giving slightly less than Jeremy Giambi did in 2002. So why not give Byrnes a shot? He’s fast, his career OBP is 25 points higher than Kotsay’s and he’s cheap which means we can trade Kotsay and Miller for a better catcher down the road.
Finally, was anyone else surprised to see Eric Karros starting against a RHP? Has Durazo’s early slump meant that much? Looking at the three year splits Karros is hitting .246/.298 against righties, while Durazo is hitting .267/.391 against RHPs ove rthe same time. Oddly, all of EK’s hits this year have come against RHPs and he still trails Durazo’s numbers against north paws. So, why is EK playing against RHPs? Who knows? I’d rather see Durazo and Hatteberg getting the majority of the ABs against righties, we’ll see what happens.
With the news that Mark Ellis is done for the year we have to look at the now murky situation at second base. Of course I’ve been a supporter of bringing in a vet to help secure the middle infield (see 10 second Rant below), but now there may be a problem developing. First, the guy I’ve supported thus far, Esteban German, failed to win the job in spring training, and will surely head back to AAA as soon as either Frank Menechino or Mark McLemore are ready to come off the DL. Right now, from what I’ve read in various places the powers that be are waiting for these two savvy vets to come back and take over 2B from the guy whose there right now, Marco Scutaro, who has a scant 75 major league games under his belt. But not so fast says Sir Rantalot.
While five games are too few to predict anything the fact is that Scoot has shown something during this first week. Namely, he reminds me a lot of Mark Ellis’ first few games at second in 2002. So, I looked at Ellis’ first five games after he took over the starting job (his first five consecutive games) and compared them to Scoot’s first five games. Here’s what I found:
Ellis 5 games: .400/0/5/.500/.450/..950
Scutaro 5 games: .313/0/3/.353/.500/.853
Ellis’ numbers are better, which we would expect, still Scoot’s numbers are very respectable. Ellis ended the year at .273/6/35/.359/.394/.753, never hit a major slump and never lost the starting job. Ellis also played stellar defense and was in the conversation for rookie of the year. I won’t say Scutaro is going to have the same success but the similarities are there. Scoot has saved a few runs with better than expected play in the field, and has already won a game with a combo of a bat and speed on the bases.
So, what does Oakland do when the vets come back? Well, I would suggest that its Scoot’s job to lose. In 2002 the A’s brought in Randy Velarde to compete with Menechino for the starting job. When Frankie was sent to the minors and Velarde got hurt Ellis took the job and never let go, even pushing trade acquisition Ray Duhram to DH. Now Scutaro has to hold off Menechino and McLemore in order to stay in the line up. Though I’ve endorsed two of the three other guys I’m rooting for Scoot. He’s plucky, he’s clutch, and he’s got a good nick-name.
In other position battle news catcher, 1B, and one outfield spot still seem to be up for grabs. Sure it’s only been a week, but I have thoughts (surprised?). First, News Flash! Damian Miller is not Ramon Hernandez! So far Miller is hitting .077/0/0/.077/.077/.154. What do all those identical .077s mean? It means that aside from hitting .077 Miller has no walks and no extra base hits, a steep price to pay for good defense and intangibles. I’m sure someone knows how many runs Miller has saved behind the plate, but that person aint me, I want some production at the plate.
So far the talk I’ve heard says that Bobby Kielty’s fast start will keep Eric Byrnes from getting much PT. However Macha is trying to find spots for him (Byrnesies only AB so far was his PH double that won the game against Texas on opening day). I see another path for Byrnes. Mark Kotsay has played below expectations and need. So far Kotsay is a decent but very Terrence Long like .250/0/2/.318/.300/.618. A’s brass once thought that Long would be a good lead off hitter too, Long thought he’d be a good five hole guy, the Pads seem to think he’ll be a good pinch hitter. Now Kotsay’s getting a shot at the lead off spot and giving slightly less than Jeremy Giambi did in 2002. So why not give Byrnes a shot? He’s fast, his career OBP is 25 points higher than Kotsay’s and he’s cheap which means we can trade Kotsay and Miller for a better catcher down the road.
Finally, was anyone else surprised to see Eric Karros starting against a RHP? Has Durazo’s early slump meant that much? Looking at the three year splits Karros is hitting .246/.298 against righties, while Durazo is hitting .267/.391 against RHPs ove rthe same time. Oddly, all of EK’s hits this year have come against RHPs and he still trails Durazo’s numbers against north paws. So, why is EK playing against RHPs? Who knows? I’d rather see Durazo and Hatteberg getting the majority of the ABs against righties, we’ll see what happens.
Monday, April 5, 2004
Happy Opening Day!
I love opening day. That may not come as surprise, but I'll say it again for effect. I love opening day. It hasn't really seemed real for the past two years, but as I sit here, on the cusp of so many changes and so much uncertainty, I know this one thing for sure, I love opening day and opening day will always be there for me.
My first memory of baseball is going to the Oakland Coliseum with my dad. I must have been about four years old. The A's had a hot young left fielder named Rickey Henderson but I was stuck on Dwane Murphy. I loved the way his hat flew off when he chased balls in the outfield. Growing up, one of my treasured possessions was a Henderson signed Billy Ball. Basically, the only real positive memories I have of my father revolve around baseball and, while I swore to be a good brother to my little bro in every way I could, it was baseball that I really strove to pass on to him.
I brought my brother out to our first game on opening day 1997. We went for his birthday, which is always within a week of the season's first game. Until I moved to LA in 1999 my bro and I went to about 40 games a year. We did other things too, but baseball was our thing. It was our brother's day out; away from the world, away from the craziness of our family and our friends. It was time when he and I could bond. We could talk about anything, we were as much two guys going to a game as we were brothers separated by 13 years and a world of experiences. Baseball kept us close.
I think baseball helped me internalize (if you teach it, you gotta live it.), and pass on some of my values and traditions, as well as invent some new ones. For example, I got to teach my brother the nuances of the game by pointing out the moves the games greatest player (we can debate that later). We got to see Rickey play in his last stint in Oakland. I got to teach my bro about the beauty of "The Rickey Run." For those who don't know, a "Rickey Run" is a lead off walk, steal second, steal third, and come in on a single to right. I got to point out the subtlety of the shift, the fact that a triple is three times as exciting as a home run, that the splitter was the pitch of the 90s, and that yelling "Daaaar-yl Daaaar-yl" could get into a grown man's head. Together, we decided that the fourth inning was the nacho inning and that this sacred rite must never be broken, even in Anaheim where the nachos suck.
Through baseball I taught him that you never give up, you never leave a game early. No matter how far behind your team is, you never leave; because in baseball, more than in any other sport, anything can happen. You never know when you may see something you'll never see again. My brother and I were in the stands, with our grandmother attending her first game in over 20 years, for Derek Jeter's amazing backhanded toss to nail a not sliding Jeremy Giambi in game three of the ALDS. We saw Eric Chavez's first career dinger. He was there for "The Bunt Heard Round the World" to beat the Sox in game one last year. Now he's getting into that teenage phase, he wants to be cool. He doesn't hang out with the family as much. But when I came home two weeks ago, the first time since my marriage dissolved, he was there for me everyday. Our bond is strong, in part because of the countless hours we spent around baseball, going to games, listening to games, playing catch in the yard.
After I moved to LA I still made it to three more opening days in Oakland. Last year was the first one I had missed since '97. Still, I made sure that someone took my brother. This year I'm still in DC, I'm still in school, but I made sure he was going. He still calls me from the games. Thanks to him I was there for Giambi's first visit to Okaland as a member of The Evil Empire. I was there as the winning run crossed the plate in last year's ALDS game one. And I'll be there tonight, for the national anthem, and the seventh inning stretch (where they'll sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" like they should), but best of all I'll be there with my bro, like always.
Baseball is forever. Baseball is timeless. Ignore for a moment that juiced balls and juiced players belie my basic premise, the fact is that when you bring a kid to a ball game it's the same for them as it was for us when we were kids (even if it is costing you a week's wages). The smell of the grass, the call of the hot dog guy, seeing 20,000 people wearing the same shirt, it's magic. Baseball is fathers and sons, brothers, friends, its generations connecting. I can argue pitch selection with old men, I can turn to the complete stranger next to me and tell him that David Cone just pitched a perfect game, and he'll care. I can look behind me and know, from voice alone, that the kid behind me is the one that calls the post game show every night. Baseball is a community event and we can all be a part of it. It starts today, the Devil Rays and Orioles are tied for first. Happy Opening day.
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