Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Remember When This was So Fictional it Was Funny?

Another one from December that I hadn't thought to put here.  Check out the quiz at the end.

R̶a̶c̶h̶e̶l̶ ̶P̶h̶e̶l̶p̶s̶ Lew Wolff, a f̶o̶r̶m̶e̶r̶ ̶L̶a̶s̶ ̶V̶e̶g̶a̶s̶ ̶s̶h̶o̶w̶g̶i̶r̶l̶ real estate mogul, has i̶n̶h̶e̶r̶i̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶C̶l̶e̶v̶e̶l̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶I̶n̶d̶i̶a̶n̶s̶ purchased the Oakland Athletics baseball team from h̶e̶r̶ ̶d̶e̶c̶e̶a̶s̶e̶d̶ ̶h̶u̶s̶b̶a̶n̶d̶ a couple guys who didn't want to win. S̶he wants to move the team to the w̶a̶r̶m̶e̶r̶ richer climate of M̶i̶a̶m̶i̶ San Jose. In order to do this, s̶he must reduce the season's attendance ̶a̶t̶ ̶M̶u̶n̶i̶c̶i̶p̶a̶l̶ ̶S̶t̶a̶d̶i̶u̶m̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶u̶n̶d̶e̶r̶ ̶8̶0̶0̶,̶0̶0̶0̶ ̶t̶i̶c̶k̶e̶t̶s̶ ̶s̶o̶l̶d̶,̶ ̶w̶h̶i̶c̶h̶ ̶w̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶t̶r̶i̶g̶g̶e̶r̶ ̶
a̶n̶ ̶e̶s̶c̶a̶p̶e̶ ̶c̶l̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶t̶e̶a̶m̶'̶s̶ ̶l̶e̶a̶s̶e̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶i̶t̶y̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶C̶l̶e̶v̶e̶l̶a̶n̶d̶ to perpetuate the narrative that Oakland fans don't care about the team.  He alienates every fan possible starting at the introductory presser.̶ After s̶he moves the team, s̶he would also be able to release all the current players and replace them with new ones. S̶he instructs n̶e̶w̶ General Manager C̶h̶a̶r̶l̶i̶e̶ ̶D̶o̶n̶o̶v̶a̶n̶ Billy Beane to hire the worst team possible from a list she has already prepared. The list includes v̶e̶t̶e̶r̶a̶n̶ ̶c̶a̶t̶c̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶J̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶T̶a̶y̶l̶o̶r̶,̶ ̶w̶h̶o̶ ̶h̶a̶s̶ ̶p̶r̶o̶b̶l̶e̶m̶s̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶k̶n̶e̶e̶s̶,̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶l̶a̶s̶t̶ ̶p̶l̶a̶y̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶M̶e̶x̶i̶c̶o̶;̶ ̶i̶n̶c̶a̶r̶c̶e̶r̶a̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶
p̶i̶t̶c̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶R̶i̶c̶k̶y̶ ̶V̶a̶u̶g̶h̶n̶;̶ ̶p̶o̶w̶e̶r̶-̶h̶i̶t̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶o̶u̶t̶f̶i̶e̶l̶d̶e̶r̶ ̶P̶e̶d̶r̶o̶ ̶C̶e̶r̶r̶a̶n̶o̶,̶ ̶w̶h̶o̶ ̶p̶r̶a̶c̶t̶i̶c̶e̶s̶ ̶v̶o̶o̶d̶o̶o̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶r̶y̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶h̶e̶l̶p̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶ ̶h̶i̶t̶ ̶
c̶u̶r̶v̶e̶ ̶b̶a̶l̶l̶s̶;̶ ̶v̶e̶t̶e̶r̶a̶n̶ ̶p̶i̶t̶c̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶E̶d̶d̶i̶e̶ ̶H̶a̶r̶r̶i̶s̶,̶ ̶w̶h̶o̶ ̶n̶o̶ ̶l̶o̶n̶g̶e̶r̶ ̶h̶a̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶s̶t̶r̶o̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶h̶r̶o̶w̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶r̶m̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶c̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶d̶o̶c̶t̶o̶r̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶
p̶i̶t̶c̶h̶e̶s̶;̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶r̶d̶ ̶b̶a̶s̶e̶m̶a̶n̶ ̶R̶o̶g̶e̶r̶ ̶D̶o̶r̶n̶,̶ ̶a̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶-̶t̶i̶m̶e̶ ̶s̶t̶a̶r̶ ̶w̶h̶o̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶u̶n̶d̶e̶r̶ ̶c̶o̶n̶t̶r̶a̶c̶t̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶h̶a̶s̶ ̶b̶e̶c̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶h̶i̶g̶h̶-̶p̶r̶i̶c̶e̶d̶ ̶
p̶r̶i̶m̶a̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶n̶a̶.̶ trading current all-stars "to get back younger players in return than those they dealt. They aren’t hiding the fact that the players they’d be looking for are ones who’d be playing in any potential new stadium. The soonest the A’s could get a stadium completed would be in three years, for the 2015 season. So Double-A players, maybe even high Class-A players could be on their wish lists, conceivably."  As manager, P̶h̶e̶l̶p̶s̶ Beane hires L̶o̶u̶ ̶B̶r̶o̶w̶n̶ Bob Melvin, a̶ ̶t̶i̶r̶e̶ ̶s̶a̶l̶e̶s̶m̶a̶n̶ ̶w̶h̶o̶ ̶"̶h̶a̶s̶ ̶m̶a̶n̶a̶g̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶T̶o̶l̶e̶d̶o̶ ̶M̶u̶d̶ ̶H̶e̶n̶s̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶l̶a̶s̶t̶ ̶3̶0̶ ̶y̶e̶a̶r̶s̶"̶.̶ who had been twice fired and failed to get a job during the regular off season.

Think you know the difference between the 2012 A's and the movie "Major League?"  Click here to take the BISR quiz.

No comments:

Post a Comment