Thursday, October 9, 2003

Schwarzenegger Uber Alles

In 1987 the Dead Kennedys released a song called “California Uber Alles.” The song portrayed former Governor Jerry Brown as a Nazi, and predicted his rise to the presidency. In fact Brown was a fairly liberal democrat who increased arts funding among other liberal endeavors. 16 years later we are faced with an actual Reich-t wing Republican, a man who once made admiring comments about Hitler, a man who is a known misogynist and serial groper. Yes folks California is in the hands of naturalized Austrian Ahnold Schwarzenegger. May the spirits forgive us for what we have done.

Let’s review. Ahnold is a republican whose sole political experience to date was as Bush Sr.’s Physical Fitness Minister. I remember 8th grade gym class, looking at Ahnold’s marble jaw, maniac grin, and pointed finger, telling me to “Get in Shape for America!” This is a man whose only qualification to be Governor is that he wants to be Governor. Douglas Adams wrote that the people who most desire to lead are the exact people who should never be allowed to do it.

Ahnold has offered no actual policy plans other than to eliminate the car tax which will immediately raise the deficit form $8 billion to $12 billion. At the same time he wants to increase money for education, he says he won’t raise taxes, so where is the money going to come from? Perhaps the sale of state licensed T3 merchandise? Basically he needs to cut more than $12 billion from prisons and health care. Hey maybe all the people in on three strikes for pot violations will get a reprieve. We will be a state full of smart, well-read, non-immunized children. Hooray for us!
We have put Hans in charge of the world’s seventh largest economy and he doesn’t even have Franz to bounce ideas off of. Schwarzenegger Uber Alles!!

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